I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
