i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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