the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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