I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
