if you like me you must not know who I am
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
