if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
