i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
