you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ambien. No doubt about it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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