I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
