I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
