We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
