So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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