so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
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he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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