More tranny stories later!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
