Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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