Umm I'm too high to move.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
