I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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