Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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