My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
