Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
