God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize