Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
