we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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