kristin has been a bad kristin
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
