I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
