and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
