did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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