I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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