There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
