took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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