Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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