Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
