So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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