He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
