she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
