: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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