the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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