it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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