It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
