there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
