ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize