Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
