Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm at about main and main street
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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