You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she smelled like a LAN party
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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