she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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