To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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