i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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