when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He shit in the fireplace
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