a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
