Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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