DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
