I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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