guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
