if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
