if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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