yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Boobs speak an international language.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Damn victory sex feels great
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
