He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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