I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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