no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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