So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
